Here we go again

So a year ago I was on a quest to lose some weight, tone the flab and get fit by finding my inner bombshell. HA! Then I got pregnant and gained 37 pounds in the process. It's time to get back on track with the bombshell search and get fit. I would love to be the trophy wife I jokingly told my hubby I would be before we got pregnant with the twins. So my postpartum appointment is scheduled for May 8th and my goal is to be at or below my prepregnancy weight and on my way to being comfy in my own skin again. I will update all of my measurements that day and from there I will tone up, get fit and find that bombshell! I have my goal pants (a size 2- which were a far cry from even making it higher than my knees before I got pregnant) hanging where I can see them everyday when I walk into the closet just for a little extra motivation. And as if to help me on this quest, all of the food intolerances that I have made an appearance a couple weeks ago so that eliminated dairy, potatoes, caffeine, beans, and gluten (This intolerance goes into remission during pregnancy and then comes back sometime afterward..weird I know, but Migraines suck so I will be avoiding these foods like the plague!).

pounds

So in the past few weeks, I have gained about 12 pounds! Not good at all! I'm not really sure what is going on. I am not working out any less and my eating hasn't changed, but I am definitely gaining, my pants are telling me so! I went running today in an effort to combat the spring pounds. I feel like I am back in college worried about the progression to the freshman 15. I'm more than 2/3 of the way there! Ridiculous. I think my hubby is a little concerned too. He brought home the Cross Fit manuals and suggest I read them lol. So I did and there is a lot of good stuff in there. We have talked about creating a Cross Fit gym in the garage, but who knows when or if it will happen. I plan on adding an extra bit of cardio in each day to try and combat the fat, and a definite meal plan and schedule. I really should keep a food journal and count calories, carbs, and proteins, but that is a lot of work so it probably won't happen. The plan is to run 5 days a week and to bike tuesday, thursday, and saturday. Wish me luck. D Day is May 27 (Memorial Day Weekend, my brothers high school graduation, and all the family coming in for a visit.) I cannot and will not be the fat girl at the party! Being overweight really frightens me. The majority of women in my family on both sides are morbidly obese. Being overweight is something I have been afraid of ever since I was old enough to understand what fat was. I can't let it happen to me. So I am headed to the doc in the next week to make sure there isn't something terribly wrong with me to trigger the weight gain, and I am kicking it up a notch in the exercise department. 46 days to get fit and skinny. Let the games begin!

running in the rain

So today it is raining and although the cool down is nice, I do wish I was a little more weather-savvy. I decided today was a good day to get back into the running schedule and 3 miles would do. Big mistake. Should have listened to the hubby- he called this morning and informed me the sky would explode in about 20 minutes. I was sad as I had just strapped the girls into the stroller and found the motivation I needed to make it on the run...He assured me I should have time to make it a short one, just around the block, a mere 1.4 miles. In all of my stubborness, I was determined to make it 3 miles before the rain set in. The volunteer mulching of the trails at Dunbar Cave this weekend took more of a toll on my back than I realized, and running was shear torture, so I had to run in short spurts and walk in between, which added to the time it took to complete the morning trek. About 3/4 mile from the house the sky suddenly turned green and buckets poured down. If the Wizard of Oz had been in color when the storm began that's what it would have looked like. I could even imagine the guy  (running home in a panic) walking his dog near me thinking It's a twista It's a twista! Luckily, I keep the rain cover on the jogging stroller for weather phenomena such as this, and I managed to get the girls covered up just in time. The rain just got harder and harder. I ran as fast as I could the first 1/4 mile or so back to the house, and then it was too hard. My shoes were full of water, my clothes were soaked and sticking to me, my hair had half-way worked itself out of the ponytail and was matted to my face, my leftover makeup from yesterday was streaming down my face, and I am positive that everyone that drove by wondered if I were a disgruntled sideshow performer who had just escaped from the circus

Slacker

Yep that's me- the slacker...I have been in such a funk lately that I just can't get it in gear to get in shape. SO I continue to suffer from Jell-o booty syndrome that will not be cured without motivation and serious action. You know it's funny. I read the book Amazing Adventures of Diet Girl which was fantastic by the way, and Shauna (the author) was great. She put it all out there and went from like 300 lbs down to 160ish. Anyways I could see myself in some of the stories that she was telling. It makes me think that maybe I am just a fat girl stuck in a skinny girls body. Skinny-fat is what I call it, a slender body that looks great with clothes on! But take them off and I swear you are witnessing the Jell-o mold melting at the neighborhood barbecue. It's sad really 27 and melting...I have been better this week though. I went for a run and too the kids on a bike ride. I even swept out the garage one day so I could roll out the yoga mat to do crunches, etc. I have been doing leg lifts while the girls take their morning bath, but it's not enough. I am apparently taking in too many calories via rabbit food (I am allergic to dairy, potatoes, caffeine, most beans, and gluten) and alcohol (with all those allergies, this is the only vice I have left!) and the small amount of physical activity is not making a difference in the jiggle, yet. I still have some time to meet my goal though. Even though I am not seeing any progress, I am not seeing any decline either. I haven't gained any weight or inches. My jeans are still in need of therapy from all the squats I have to do to stretch out the butt every time I put them on, but they haven't ripped and they are still a size 4 so that's something right?! Oh how I long to update the progress chart....

The Plan

Today was a good start to finding my mojo and getting back on schedule. I did everything but workout by 8:30 this morning! (cleaned the house, vacuumed, mopped, dusted, laundry, dishes, etc and showered!, bathed the kids and made waffles for the munchkins for breakfast) lol. So I should have left the house at 8:30, but I didn't :( Actually, I have a good reason this time, I was watching a friends baby so she could get thing squared away for college, and then as soon as she left I put the kids down for their nap, and the day is done, figuratively speaking. The afternoon and evening are filled with guitar lessons and cub scouts. Maybe if it doesn't rain we will play kickball at scouts and that can count for my physical activity for the day, and then tomorrow I can jump on the get fit fast bandwagon.

Ya know I think it's funny that I see a lot of my friends update their facebook status with fitness accomplishments for the day, how long they spent at the gym, what they did, how fast their 5k time is, and I see them shrinking, toning, and all looking good, and I am so jealous, but at the same time too lazy to get off my fattening ass and do something about it.

Today felt good though. It has been months since I accomplished all those things on schedule, so there is hope! Hope is a good thing. I think even my pants are a little relieved today since I didn't hear the seams screaming for help when I squeezed into them today!

So here is the plan...
I will be following the fitness schedule I first posted on the right side of the page. I will get fit, and I will be happy and motivated about doing it. These are all things I enjoy doing, once I start. That's the kicker, starting. I am determined that by the time I am forced to put on shorts or a swimsuit this year, I will be comfortable doing it. For this, I need a timeline...
Originally, I wanted to run the Music City Half Marathon in April. That seems way too soon to be a reality, but with determination, it is a possibility. So let's keep that time frame.
By April 26 (8 weeks away), race day, I will be established into a workout routine, and well on my way to looking the bombshell part.
By Memorial Day (12 weeks away), which is also the day the pool opens up, I will be comfortable in that swimsuit!
By June 25 (16 weeks away), and the day we leave for Destin, the bombshell will be visible.
By August 30 (26 weeks away), my twins 2nd birthday, there will be no question, I will be the trophy wife!
Okay that's my goal, and the plan, with baby steps! I can do this.!

Enough is Enough

So I started this blog a month or so ago with hopes of finding some sort of motivation and direction for getting fit and looking like the woman I have also dreamed of becoming. No such such luck! I have found every excuse not to exercise from it being too cold or too hot, too windy, too rainy, too busy, too early, too late, or my favorites- the kids aren't feeling well, the house is too dirty (I'm OCD the house is never really dirty, but in my demented mind it is filthy.), and the list goes on...So something's gotta give. I threw out the goal of running the half marathon in April. With less than 8 weeks to go til race day, that is an impossible challenge.

I continue to chastise myself for being unfit and unattractive when I look in the mirror, and it is really taking a toll. Others can't see it, but I know I am not imagining the ever increasing amount of cellulite on my ass and thighs and the threat of a looming muffin top that longs to be peaking over my jeans. This can't be happening! Enough is enough! Something has to change and fast!

I have described myself before as being a bombshell on the inside, and I truly believe that I am and that I can change the outward appearance to reflect that, but I am having a hard time doing it.

I refuse to join a gym- why pay for something that I can do outside. Spending hours walking or running to nowhere on a treadmill with no sights or smells of nature around me is just depressing, been there, done that. I despise the weight machines because I feel that they taunt me, and when I sit down after some uber fit gym goddess, I feel that I have to do better than her in weight or repetition, which usually results in disappointment, embarrassment, or injury- No thanks. I know people that visit the gym on a regular basis, and never seem to reach their goals. It becomes more more of a social event, and they spend their time gossipping or comparing new gym shoes instead of improving their bodes like they are there for. I don't want any part of that.

I will not join Weight Watchers, Curves, LA WeightLoss, or any other "life changing" mega diet firm. I am not overweight, just floppy, and I don't think I would benefit by hearing the other women justify their last week's weight gain and eating struggles. Hell, because of the food allergies, I can hardly eat anything that is "bad" for me anyway. It is definitely not the food that I am eating, it is absolutely the lack of cardio movement and exercise.

I did buy some exercise videos, and yes, I used them a time or two, but watching the skinny girls on the screen shake their whole body and have nothing really move is very disconcerting when if I even think about a shimmy my ass goes into a never ending jiggle that I fear may knock something off the closest shelf!

So what am I going to do? I know what I have to do, but how can I get and stay motivated to actually do it? I think maybe talking about it would be a good start. When I try to tell my hubby, I just feel stupid. He thinks I look fine, and if I am not happy I should do something about it...I'm trying! And if I talk to friends or family, they don't understand either. It is hard to try to explain to someone that at 136 pounds and a size 4 I feel fat and unattractive (especially when they are struggling with their own weight loss and I am at least 4 sizes smaller than them). So I feel that I have to be there to support and encourage others, but who is going to support and encourage me? That's where this blog comes in...I have to take advantage of it's listening ear, and confide in it all my hopes,  dreams, fears, and struggles. I hope it works!

Spring Inspiration

This weather is awesome! It definitely is helping me in the motivation department. I want to be outside and doing something all the time!

 Victoria's Secret also sent their swimsuit catalog this week :) I love getting these because it is a constant reminder of why I am doing all these physical activities. Of course it is for my health!

And to Find My Inner Bombshell!

I am seeing hoards of women in my neighborhood all throughout the day that seem to have the same goal in mind. Kudos to all those women who are getting out there, getting fit, and finding their bombshell too. Seeing those motivated women out there also helps me to stay motivated. Thanks ladies and keep it up!

For when the weather changes and the rainclouds come out (which they will be doing soon) I purchased a couple new DVDs to help me on my quest. I bought Carmen Elektra's Aerobic Striptease, and Latin Grooves Cardio Dance. I heard great things about both of them, and hopefully they will be a lot of fun.